"I WANT TO BE A SPACESHIP #1"
8" x 10", Acrylic on wood panel, February 11, 2009
The complete title: "I want to be a spaceship so I can fly the hell out of here!"
What I think about very often, and certainly something that inspired and influenced this work, is my daydreams of somehow escaping this life for a better, more fulfilling one. This is why I want to be a Spaceship.
Silly thought? True
Would I dream as much as I do if I were content with life as it is? Is contentment the object of life? Happiness? Or are we here to suffer and like it? These questions are examples of why religion was invented. Life is so disagreeable that people had to invent justifications for the savage conditions of survival. Thus, religions were born. Religion is slowly becoming obsolete. Too much science exists for many people to have faith in God and deities who control every flake of dandruff falling from our heads. The replacement is technology, and in effect, the computer chip is the new God. And when we become computers, (which we already are, "Bio-Computers") we will become like God.
What does this have to do with my painting? Not much,
except this; The only way I will ever actually become a spaceship is to augment my physical body with technology enough to sustain my life long enough to reach a time in which space travel exists. I can then transform myself into a spaceship using nanobot technology, or whatever else is invented. THEN, I could actually BE a spaceship and get the hell off this rock! However, by that time, I may find life pleasant enough, and find myself having power enough, (which is what I lack now, and one BIG reason I am dissatisfied) to be happy and satisfied with myself
because by then I would have reinvented myself AS God!
So, this painting is indeed a little piece of a daydream. Symbolic, metaphorical, and allegorical of my dreams. You might say this is "my religion" This is my hope for an existence beyond this short life span. In my hopeful opinion, this can all be made real by extending this life rather than believing the dogma of an afterlife like that proposed in many religions.
These ideas are probably getting under the skins of those who still believe in Christ, Allah, Buddha or whatever God. However, I DO TOO!!! I'm hedging my bet! So please don't bother sending me any letters about how Jesus is the only thing that is going to save me because if he will, he already has! I am not atheistic, though perhaps I fall into the definition of agnostic. That is simply because I DO NOT KNOW. I can't seem to have "blind faith" in these things.
But who cares? I hope it's true that Jesus loves me because there sure aren't many others!
I know for sure that I look into a mirror and see something that I have been led to believe is "me". What this "me" "is", IS what I am confused about. There are too many definitions that seem to be in conflict with one another. I am most certainly in the dark about what this mass of water, guts, blood, bone, goop and puss is doing blubbering and blundering around on this ball of dirt. What is the point? Just to consume living material and crap it out to feed a new generation of living material and eventually die myself and be eaten and decompose for the sake of ongoing living and dead existence only!? To continue to procreate and evolve for the sake of evolution and existence?
Well, I don't know, and this is getting boring so THANK GOD I can dream! So far, that seems the most worthwhile thing I do
Just keep dreaming.
More soon - RSC - 2/11/2009